Break The Stereotypes

[This post is written in Indian Context]

Before few months my elder brother told me about one real life incident that happened before two years in Hyderabad.

One young couple, who had one year of married life and no children yet, were coming back to their home after watching the second show of a movie. On the way they were attacked by a group of goons. They had beaten the husband, and in front of his eyes all those goons raped his wife.

Then, what happened next in their life? The husband took the stereotypical decision – he left his wife because he thought he could not live with her. This is the one incident that I came to know from my brother. Many incidents like this might have happened in the past in one or other way and many husbands might have taken the same decision.

But, suppose if you are a guy and if the same thing happens what will you do? [Let us suppose you have good relations with your wife, and you love her and she loves you.] I know the answer you will give –“I will stay with my wife and support her”.

Before you give that answer let me tell you the possible consequences.

• Your parents will be against your opinion. As they are your well-wishers [as they think] they want you to be happy. They think that you cannot live happily with your wife as such ‘bad incident’ happened that too in front of your wife. They think that you cannot have happy sexual life with her.
• Most of your friends will be against your opinion. Though they support you, they do it half-heartedly. In front of you they will say ‘You are great and you have taken the right decision’. But when you are away they comment, ‘This guy is a sentimental fool’.
• Normally the ‘society’ says – if his wife is ‘good’ she will leave her or commit suicide instead of cheating him by staying with him. Or else, she should move out of his life and allow him to get married again.
• In future, your children will come to you and ask, ‘why didn’t you leave my mom? See, now everyone is calling us son of a bitch.’ Your children have to face many negative social circumstances.
• There will be definitely chances of emotional gap between you and your wife. Your wife will be feeling guilty for what happened earlier, and that guilty feeling will be badly affecting your marital life.

After thinking of all these circumstances if you still stick to your decision it’s good. If you ask me my opinion on this situation, my reply is this:

In the past many people left their wives when such incident happened and they did not dare to fight back against the society. That is the reason ‘leaving the wife’ or ‘the wife leaving you’ has become an universally accepted solution or ‘stereotype’.

But you can break the stereotypes and set your own. You can live with your wife whatever circumstances might happen. You can boost confidence in your wife and make her lead normal life. But make sure that you are strong enough to do this, and won’t lose your confidence at any cost.

If many people like you come forward and adopt this solution then the past stereotypes get broken, and your way will turn as an universally acceptable solution or ‘changed stereotype’.

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