Dream and Life

Generally, we think that dream and life are different. [Here Life I mean when you are awake and active]. Since last few months I am thinking how true this general thinking is. The more I thought to find more about it, the more strong I started understanding and believing that ‘dream and life are almost the same’. Let me tell you why I think so.

• As you don’t have control over what’s happening in your dreams, so also you don’t have control on most of the happenings in your life.
• As characters, known and unknown, keep coming in and leaving your dreams many friends and relations keep entering your life and leaving you at some point of time.
• As you keep getting angry and reacting according to the situations in your dreams, so also you do in different situations in your life.

Then, where does that difference come from? We are not worried or excited about what happens in our dreams because it’s ‘not true’ according our understanding. But we are worried and excited about what happens in our life. Why so? Because ‘our mind is active when awake’.

In fact, if I ask you what was your state of mind before one month or last year, you can feel your life before one month or year is just a dream passed away. Do you feel it real? No. Am I right?

Can we be cool and calm as we do in our dreams? Yes, we can. But, only we are clear the life is also like a dream and all the things we experience are not true, because they are not consistent.

Anyway, why should anyone treat life like a dream?

To be calm and enjoy the calmness; the calmness is what you are.

Note: There are many related things to the above hypothesis. But, they are subjective. So, I did not discuss them all. And, still there is a lot I need to think, understand and learn.

First Appreciate the Good!

‘This man is bad’, ‘That girl is a big fool’, ‘You don’t know the other side of his character’ – these are the common things we hear everyday. Oh, man! I am really bugged up hearing these statements again and again.

Hello people, I want to ask you one thing. Do you really appreciate ‘the good’? If not, please don’t criticise. You [or many people] may not agree to this statement – ‘people are not trying to be good because they won’t get any appreciation or recognition for their good acts.’ But it’s true.

I observed that if one is doing good, many people consider him/her as ‘innocent’, ‘not clever’ and ‘doesn’t know how to live in this world’. By treating a good person like this the society is trying to make that person feel ‘not be good’ and ‘live according to the society’s expectations’.

Let us  first recognise, appreciate and encourage a person to do and be good. This is the first and best way to build a better society.

Think and react!

Break The Stereotypes

[This post is written in Indian Context]

Before few months my elder brother told me about one real life incident that happened before two years in Hyderabad.

One young couple, who had one year of married life and no children yet, were coming back to their home after watching the second show of a movie. On the way they were attacked by a group of goons. They had beaten the husband, and in front of his eyes all those goons raped his wife.

Then, what happened next in their life? The husband took the stereotypical decision – he left his wife because he thought he could not live with her. This is the one incident that I came to know from my brother. Many incidents like this might have happened in the past in one or other way and many husbands might have taken the same decision.

But, suppose if you are a guy and if the same thing happens what will you do? [Let us suppose you have good relations with your wife, and you love her and she loves you.] I know the answer you will give –“I will stay with my wife and support her”.

Before you give that answer let me tell you the possible consequences.

• Your parents will be against your opinion. As they are your well-wishers [as they think] they want you to be happy. They think that you cannot live happily with your wife as such ‘bad incident’ happened that too in front of your wife. They think that you cannot have happy sexual life with her.
• Most of your friends will be against your opinion. Though they support you, they do it half-heartedly. In front of you they will say ‘You are great and you have taken the right decision’. But when you are away they comment, ‘This guy is a sentimental fool’.
• Normally the ‘society’ says – if his wife is ‘good’ she will leave her or commit suicide instead of cheating him by staying with him. Or else, she should move out of his life and allow him to get married again.
• In future, your children will come to you and ask, ‘why didn’t you leave my mom? See, now everyone is calling us son of a bitch.’ Your children have to face many negative social circumstances.
• There will be definitely chances of emotional gap between you and your wife. Your wife will be feeling guilty for what happened earlier, and that guilty feeling will be badly affecting your marital life.

After thinking of all these circumstances if you still stick to your decision it’s good. If you ask me my opinion on this situation, my reply is this:

In the past many people left their wives when such incident happened and they did not dare to fight back against the society. That is the reason ‘leaving the wife’ or ‘the wife leaving you’ has become an universally accepted solution or ‘stereotype’.

But you can break the stereotypes and set your own. You can live with your wife whatever circumstances might happen. You can boost confidence in your wife and make her lead normal life. But make sure that you are strong enough to do this, and won’t lose your confidence at any cost.

If many people like you come forward and adopt this solution then the past stereotypes get broken, and your way will turn as an universally acceptable solution or ‘changed stereotype’.

Do We Need Good Students or Good Citizens?

Two weeks back I went to my native place (Kovur in Andhra Pradesh, India). There I came to know one stunning fact. My neighbor who is also a teacher in a school told me about what’s happening in their school, and also in all the schools in my hometown.

In 9th class the management completes the syllabus within 4 months i.e. from July to October and prepares the students for examinations in December. From January onwards the students will be taught the subjects of 10th class because it is a public examination and parents also want their children to get good marks in SSC.

From January to August the syllabus will be completely taught. From September onwards up to March all the subjects will be revised thrice and the students will appear for examinations in April. Obviously most of the students will score more than 85%. All the parents will be happy and feel proud of their children. With these ‘good scores’ they will easily get admission in prestigious colleges. If any student fails to score more than 80% he will be ill-treated by his parents, teachers and obviously by the society.

But I wonder to myself – ‘what are we doing?’ Do we want to create intellectuals or good citizens? Primary education is the stage where students develop an understanding about themselves and about the society. The attitudes they develop at this time carry their impact throughout their life.

My opinion is – the students should be provided with opportunities for ‘all-round development’. There should be a perfect balance between physical education, moral education, social education, and general education that is offered in the schools.

The purpose of education is creating good citizens who have necessary skill set to lead successful lives and at the same time be able to provide necessary help and guidance to his fellow beings.

Think about this and let me know your viewpoints. It helps me reframe my opinions in a better way.

Why I Love Lord Krishna?

Just because there is no reason to hate him and there is every reason to love him. He lived his life performing all the roles perfectly.

As a son he was good to his parents – Nanda and Yasodha – who nurtured his childhood. When he left to Madhura to be with his own parents – Vasudeva and Devaki – he convinced Nanda and Yashodha and left. Though he was away from them he maintained better relations with them throughout their life. As he was not with his own parents in his early childhood he spent his remaining life with them taking care of them. So, in all his life he was a ‘perfect son’. He is an ideal not only to me but to everyone in the present society as most of us don’t know how to maintain better relations with our parents.[I am sorry if my statement is wrong]

He also was a perfect lover. He shared true love with the Gopikas in Brindavanam. Many people think he had sex with all of them, but it is mistaken. Bhagavatha says that he used to ‘touch’ them but did not have sex with them. Present day research also claims that partners can share their emotions in a better way by ‘gentle touch’ rather than having frequent sex. This technique Krishna already used and shared true love with all the Gopikas.

These are just few examples. I will quote more examples, whenever necessary, in the coming articles.

Lord Krishna lived his life to the ‘full extent’ performing all the roles a human being has to – a good son, true lover, good adviser, helpful person, guide, … All in all he is a perfect human being. That’s why I love Lord Krishna and he is my ideal.